One-Day Story Re-Edit

In Photo Story, we have the opportunity, after receiving an assignment's grade, to re-submit with the potential of raising it by a letter grade. So, today I changed my focus on my one-day project to be a story about how the Pereras use the wool. I resubmitted it with these pictures:

Two of the Pereras’ Karakul rams wait to be fed on Thursday, February 12, 2010. Karakul sheep are possibly the oldest domesticated sheep, with carvings of the sheep found in ancient Babylonian temples.

Some of the more mature Karakul ewes peer out of the main barn of the Petite Saline Sheep and Llama Farm, owned by Rey and Dee Perera. The Pereras have a flock of over 90 Karakul ewes and rams, bred from the five major blood lines available in the United States.

Rey Perera scatters feed for his farm's rams on Tuesday, February 16, 2010. The Pereras keep their rams and ewes separate except during breeding season. The separation keeps the rams calmer and less likely to butt Perera or each other.

Dee Perera mixes in alpaca fur into her shorn Karakul fur so that it will bind properly when being carded, on Tuesday, February 16, 2010. Karakul fleece is naturally wiry and must be blended with other fur in order to be usable for knitting or weaving.

Dee Perera monitors the progress of her carding machine, on Tuesday, February 16, 2010. The Pereras sheer their sheep, llamas, and alpacas twice a year, and then sell the fleece to interested parties.

One of the Pereras’ llamas waits to be fed on Tuesday, February 16, 2010. The Pereras first began raising llamas in 1989 and discovered that they make excellent guard ‘dogs’ for the herd.

I think my new story is much stronger than my prior submission. (Thank you, Tim and Clay, for your input!)

Rita was very helpful in providing me with some insight into fixing something that has been influencing my photography since I started the program. I tend to want to capture the moment, but I try to stuff everything into what I photograph. There isn't narrow enough a focus. So I'll create a picture, or a story, that can be a parking lot instead of a slice of life. I'll know a bunch about my subjects, but instead of picking out that thread, that facet of it, it meanders all over. But suggesting finding that thread, realizing that the thread is what's going to engage people, that's really helped me.